Things to be said
1:44 a.m. - 2005-09-25

I got home from a dance thing this morning at 12:41 A.M. I had would love to say I had so much fun and was dancing and moving around the whole night but that would be a lie. I didn’t enjoy myself most of the night because my best friend Mary stood me up for the bell game((witch victor lost like I knew they would)) And then the dace. Both things she promised me she’d make. But she prolly had important stuff to make so she didn’t come. I understand. I just miss her so much. But she wasn’t the only reason my night was a somewhat bummer.
I had too see Richard all night long. And though he and I got along really well and hung out a lot more than I thought we would, I wanted to cry so bad. I almost did at one point in Spike’s arms but I have never cried in front of him before and I don’t want to start, now. I love him more now than ever, and I didn’t think it was possible. He just confuses’ me so much. He was talking about oh yes I would kill you. And your race((Mexican)). He picked me up and ran outside with me and started to like, squat me, he acted as though he was going to drop me many times, and I wasn’t scared like I normally am with people. I told him its because I’m with him and I know he wouldn’t drop me or hurt me, and he goes, sadly its true. I couldn’t drop you. He looked at me, and I just held on tighter to his arm. And then as we were leaving, he pulls me real close and holds me real tight and goes, Bye baby. And I almost cried. He hasn’t called me baby since we were planing our children’s names. And that was three months ago in June. So I don’t know. He just confuses’ me lots. But I know one thing
I LOVE HIM!!!!
And to be honest that’s not going to change.
Ohh update on the boyfriend thing, I don’t want one anymore. I really don’t. I’ll prolly still go on dates and stuff. But thats nothing. And I don’t think I should complain anymore, I have more guys then needed now..gahh!!!

then || now